There are 12 days til Christmas!

I have a lot to do. So much actually that when I realized I only had 12 more days til Christmas, I decided to get my butt in gear……and write a parody to the 12 days of Christmas. Because writing a song is way more fun than doing most of that other stuff. Yes, I am the queen of procrastination. You’re welcome. If you know the tune….sing along! 😉 Happy Holidays!

santa

There are 12 days til Christmas and I can barely breathe!

I don’t have a Christmas tree!

There are 12 days til Christmas and I can barely breathe~

-My cards need addressing

~And I don’t have a Christmas tree!

There are 12 days til Christmas and I can barely breathe~

-I’ve got to order presents

~My cards need addressing

~And I still don’t  have a tree!

There are 12 days til Christmas and  I can barely breathe~

-Buy teacher gifts

~I’ve got to order presents

~My cards need addressing

~And I still don’t have a tree!

There are 12 days til Christmas and  I can barely breathe~

~CREATE CHRISTMAS MAGIC

~ Buy teacher gifts

~I’ve got to order presents

~Someone print me labels

~And I may just get a fake tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and I can barely breathe!

~ I need holiday sweaters,

~CREATE CHRISTMAS MAGIC

~Buy teacher gifts

~I’ve got to order presents

~Someone print me labels

~And it’s terrible I don’t have a tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and I still can’t breathe!

~I forgot to adopt a family

~ Where’s a stupid sweater

~CREATE CHRISTMAS MAGIC!

~Buy teacher gifts

~I’ve got to order presents

~The cards will be new year’s

~And I may just get a fake tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and I can barely breathe!

~The kids need to meet Santa

~ I forgot to adopt a family

~I despise Christmas sweaters

~THAT ELF FORGETS TO MOVE

~The teachers can have gift cards

~I’m screwed with the presents

~The cards will be for New Year’s

~And I’ll pay someone to deliver a tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and I am hyperventilating!

~Order Christmas dinner

~The kids must meet santa

~ I forgot to adopt a family

~ Forget the sweater party

~ OH THAT CHRISTMAS MAGIC

~The teachers can have gift cards

~Argh the presents

~The cards will be for new years

~And I’ll get that tree if it kills me.

There are 12 days til Christmas~ my heads between my knees!

~Does Amazon do wrapping?

~Why am I hosting dinner?

~The Santa line’s a nightmare

~ I forgot to adopt a family

~We don’t wear sweaters in LA

~WHY’D I BUY THIS ELF?

~The teachers can have gift cards

~I’ve got to order presents

~Again with the cards

~and I really just need a Christmas tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and I think I may pass out!

~Batteries aren’t included,

~Gifts can be in bags,

~I will just order precooked

~The kids can email Santa

~I feel bad about the family

~Enough with the sweaters

~WHERE’S MY CHRISTMAS MAGIC?

~Teachers like coffee

~Is it too late to order presents?

~No one is getting cards

~ But I’ll definitely get that damn tree.

There are 12 days til Christmas and my true love said to me:

~Just enjoy the meaning,

~Batteries can be purchased,

~Dinner will be fine,

~The kids should go see Santa,

~Give to Salvation Army,

~YOU HAVE CHRISTMAS MAGIC,

~Gift card for the teachers

~Amazon Prime will save you

~I’ll address the cards,

and let’s go get the Christmas tree!

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My Balls

Balls. They can be scary. I never think I’m handling them the right way. It’s hard to know. Big ones. Small ones. I’m told to grab them but then I think some should be handled with care.  I am no expert, but I definitely have balls.

50 shades balls

My balls are labeled with names like: school, soccer practice, dinner, homework, career, relationships, the budget, dogs. What balls were you thinking of? Oh right. Those balls are another ball. Yep, lots and lots of balls.(Maybe you should drink every time you read the word balls!)

I’m rarely on the ball and I am constantly dropping the ball.  They are rolling around on the ground by my feet, tripping me up. (Kind of reminds me of a song: “Do your balls hang low do they wobble to and fro…” Yes I know it’s actually ears.) Anyway, back to my balls.  How do I get a good handle on all these balls? (You are drinking, right?)

baseballbuster

 I could set up a schedule!  The red balls are juggled on Monday and the green balls are Tuesday…I will save the blue balls for Friday night. 😉

I could give my attention to one ball at a time! Be fully present with whatever ball I have at that moment. Juggle one. (But isn’t that just holding the ball?)

Or maybe I just keep doing what I’m doing and watch my step. No one has broken their neck, YET.

Whatever I decide, one thing is for sure:

No one can ever say I don’t have balls.

And my own personal balls should be a priority.

(Yes, I realize that’s actually 2 things.)  

Because if momma’s balls aren’t happy, ain’t no balls happy.

What about you? What do you do with all those balls?

Do you make time for your own balls? (Who’s drunk?)