I was awoken one recent Saturday morning by a 7 year old boy in tiny underwear.  “Mom,  I have an upset tummy. I saved it for you if you want to see.”  Not on the weekend buddy. Never on a weekend.

You may be asking “What the hell? Gross.” Let me explain. My kids lie. They lie to get out of going to school. They lie to get out of trouble. They lie for fun.  It’s a problem. So much so that I must have a “visual” if anyone is claiming to be sick.

It’s been a problem since the kids were very young. When my daughter was 3, she bit herself and then blamed her 1 year old brother.  When my son was 5, he carved his name in my husband’s leather chair and said he didn’t. Hey, I said they were good liars, not geniuses.

The lies can be creative, detailed and unneccesary: “I brought a pet Lizard back from Mexico. I hid him in my backpack on the plane. His name is Fred and he likes to roam the house free.”

Or conniving: “Mom, I just found some extra Christmas money! (It’s July) So I’m going to buy some apps. It’s my money, so it’s my choice.”

Is this a phase? Am I kidding myself thinking they will grow out of this? Does a phase last 3,4,6 years?   Will my kids become con artists?  A dirty rotten scoundrel?  Either boy could play a great Ruprecht.

Time will tell. I guess for now, I will  insist on “visuals” when sick, require 2 forms of proof when hearing any story and ask very specific questions regarding showers: Did you wash your hair? Your armpits? Did actual soap touch your skin?

Maybe they will channel all that creativity into something profitable…and honest. In the words of Justin Bieber…(yes I see the irony) NEVER SAY NEVER.

Who else has pretty little liars?

Please tell me I’m not the only one!